3 November, 2017

Sometimes i miss you so much that i’m sure it will never go away. 

You’re everywhere. In that plane, in the jumpseat, holding the other end of my trolley, in the crew rest, in the hotel room, on my phone. Everything reminds me of you. I can’t make it go away. It’s been months since the first time i saw you, in that stupid corner at the airport. Two or three days later and you kissed me. It was just a kiss and yet it was so much more for me. I felt so good during that week. Working with you the entire day, sharing the galley, the trolley, the aisle with you. Going back to the hotel with you. It seemed impossible at that time, maybe because in reality it really was – i know it now. But you kissed me. And now you don’t even talk to me. It’s been months since that day and you’re everywhere. And yet here i am, hoping that next time i see you, you’ll kiss me again, even if only for that week. I want that feeling to come back. Those butterflies in the stomach. How stupid can i possibly be? You broke me deep. You’re everywhere. Everything reminds me of you. I miss you so much and it hurts so so much. Why did you have to run away like you did? Why couldn’t we even try? And why am i still picturing you when i never had you. You were never mine. Why does the memory of you have to mess with me up so much? 

There’s a song that says i pick my poison and it’s you. You’re in that song too. 

x